I look too young to be pregnant and I am afraid of judgements?
Alejandra asked:
I am 24 and I am pregnant with my first child, but I look like I am 16 or 17.
I am small framed, 5 feet tall, round face, my nose, mouth and eyes are small. I am really petite, I have to wear petite clothes size small or x-small.
Well, the other day I went to the store and a woman looked at my belly and then shaked her head in disaprovement. I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but I really feel uncomfortable.
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I am 24 and I am pregnant with my first child, but I look like I am 16 or 17.
I am small framed, 5 feet tall, round face, my nose, mouth and eyes are small. I am really petite, I have to wear petite clothes size small or x-small.
Well, the other day I went to the store and a woman looked at my belly and then shaked her head in disaprovement. I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but I really feel uncomfortable.
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August 30th, 2009 at 10:18 am
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Don’t worry about it. You are happy right?
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
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don’t care what people who are judgmental, close minded, and need to mind their own business think. i give people rude looks right back. if they have something to say, they need to say it. it’s my life, not theirs.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
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I’m really outspoken, so I would have said, What is your problem?
September 5th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
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You are 24~ your a women not a child! don’t worry about it, why would you care what other people thought of you, look back at them and laugh!
September 8th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
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dont even worry about wat ppl think!!!!! it your life
September 9th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
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I really would not be concerned about other people’s judgments. It is really none of their business. If someone says something to you, I would respond with a very chilly - First of all, what business is that of yours? How dare you judge me? I am 24 for just for the record.
September 10th, 2009 at 1:33 am
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This is what you do:
Look at them right in the eye and say, Hey, wanna go have a couple beers?
They’ll drop the idea of you being a young whore, and assume you’re just an *******.
September 11th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
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i was 19 when i was pregnant and people always think im about 15 or 16. one day i had an old woman come up to me when i was pregnant and she bluntly said, why you dont even look old enough to drive and you’re pregnant!? it can make you feel uncomfortable, but i just ignore what they say. some people should just mind their own business.
September 14th, 2009 at 4:10 am
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just be happy that you are going to be very blessed with a healthy and happy baby. honestly, dont worry about it. i know youve heard it a lot, but you really just have to ignore them. but if you are with someone else, tell them that they are making you feel uncomfortable and they will talk to them or do something about. just remember, you are never the only one that has opinions.
September 14th, 2009 at 11:29 am
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wear a ring on your wedding ring finger. This will allow people to understand that you are old enough and possibly married (if you are not already).
September 14th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
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Yea don’t worry about it. It’s such a blessing to have a little one. In the generations before us people started family’s at a young age. Good Luck and God Bless!
September 15th, 2009 at 5:03 am
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just look at her weird too, and say can I help you? and smile =) that’s what I would’ve done. I’m almost 23, and I look 16 too, but you must look pretty young. Maybe just act mature and dress mature?
September 16th, 2009 at 3:36 am
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I think that pregnant people are beautiful first of all, and i think people judge others by what they believe is Right or wrong. I understand that you might feel uncomfortable about it being so small, but you have to look at it this way, if they want to ridicule everyone that walks by them that’s there problem, what you believe and feel is what counts the most, and try not to let it get to you, i had the same problem well sort of but i was very over weight and i got looked at too, but for different reasons. So i had to change the way i looked at it, and made myself think, HEY! I am going to a mom and its a miracle in itself for that to happen and i don’t care what anyone thinks and just keep repeating it over and over maybe that will help. Good luck.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:17 am
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dont worry about what other people say or think, n if it stills bothers u you can always get a screen tee that says im not a teen, or yes im pregnant and im grown.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
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Don’t worry about. You know who you are…that’s all that matters. My husband of 7 years is black…..you wouldn’t believe the looks and comments we have gotten and we live in a city of 1.5 million!!
September 21st, 2009 at 12:00 am
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when they are looking at u, tell them mind ur own business hey im 19 year old who is marry young and pregnant 17 weeks along… my hubby is 24 who care what other people said. worry about u and if ur happy then be happy.
September 24th, 2009 at 12:41 am
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It is really sad when babies have babies, so understand where the judgment is coming from. At least you know better. You’ll be very happy when you’re 30 or 40 years old and look 24, so consider yourself blessed
Congratulations on your new little one and I hope you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy!
September 27th, 2009 at 2:01 am
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Don’t worry! You know the truth! Those people have no business judging without even knowing the situation.
If you are the outgoing type or just get frustrated enough, next time someone says something or gives you a look, say something totally outrageous to make it seem like you are 13 or something and watch what they do next. You could guess their reaction and make a game of it. At least have some fun with it.
If you are more like me, I’d keep quiet, but stare them firmily in the eye. I’d give a look that says I’m in a good position to have a baby and it’s none of your business anyway.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:33 am
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Just look them in the eye and say, I’m 24. They’ll feel like a jack*ss when they get busted out for staring and being judgemental. I was 23 when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I was married and all when I got pregnant. I was in grad school at the time, so I was pregnant and on a college campus, so people always stared. Even before I was pregnant, people (other students who I’d never met before) would say stuff like, you’re married? You’re like 17. I’d just say, thanks for the compliment, I’m 23! Or if I got, you’re married? You’re like a freshman! I’d say, thanks, I’m nearly done with my master’s.
Or, if you’re the sarcastic type, next time that happens, say to one of your friends so the person disapproving of you can hear you, I just wish I knew who the father is. Get a good laugh out of it.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:29 pm
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I agree with most of the posters before, people can sometimes be very judgemental or say stupid things when they shouldn’t. I am fair skinned and have a dark complected mixed daughter. I actually was at the airport picking up my mother in law when my daughter was a baby, and had some stupid woman come up to me and ask where my daughter got her dark hair and dark complexion. My mother in law and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. Some people just aren’t smart enough to see beyond their own noses. With my second pregnancy I was 9 months pregnant and went to a concert, going to the bathroom I actually had a woman look at me and say nice belly I looked right back her and said yup, I put it on just for the concert and rolled my eyes. It’s one of those Here’s your sign moments. Just know you aren’t doing anything wrong, and unfortunately you cannot change peoples ignorance. Pretty soon you will have a little one, and everyone and there dog will be telling you how to raise them. Good luck.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
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just ignore them! I copped that when i was pregnant with my son (although was 16), and I am now 21 and pregnant again, and still coping the same thing. Its your life.. don’t worry about what people think!!
I just hope you don’t get it at the hospital too like i did with my son.
I was told i was a little sl*t, i shouldn’t be having a baby because i am only going to ***** it up like I have screwed up my life!
She also went and got adoption papers and tried to make me sign it..
I still to this day, can’t believe the way i was treated.
Needless to say, we’re not going back there!!
October 7th, 2009 at 2:39 am
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People will always judge no matter what…that is just a part of human nature. You really need to just ignore their ignorance and keep your head held high and enjoy your pregnancy. If you let these people get to you it will add unnecessary stress and you don’t need that!!
October 7th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
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I think some paranoia, no matter who you are, is common.
Other things people worry about:
– I’m in old jeans and a t-shirt. People are going to think I’m too poor to breed.
– I’m past thirty. People are going to think I’m too old to breed.
– Everybody knows I had ***!! (Surprisingly common.)
– I have pimples and circles under my eyes. People will think badly of me for not taking care of myself (despite how ridiculous that is)
– I’m eating what looks like a deli sandwich. Somebody’s going to come up to me and tell me it’s unsafe, even though I made it at home and…
etc, etc.
Yeah, you _shouldn’t_ care what people think, but if you do — which is understandable — that doesn’t help much.
Throw on a wedding band if you don’t already wear one.
Dress a bit old. No silly shoes. Good jewellery rather than trendy — get some pearls (fake okay). Carry a newspaper…!
Look happy. If people see somebody doing something they think is questionable (being 16 and pregnant, say), they do tend to pause a bit if the person is very clearly okay with themselves. It’s the insecure that get preyed upon by that sort of person. What you do in that situation is not hang your head (like a teen-ager, on being made to feel miserable by some **** in a mall, might), but perk up and give them a beaming smile, even a Hello! Lovely day we’re having!
October 8th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
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pull out your wallet and show them your license. that should make them feel really bad. then just say I am not a child I am a married adult and you can not judge me. good luck and congrats!!!!!
October 11th, 2009 at 10:53 am
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Don’t let it bother you. Enjoy your belly / pregnancy without fear of what others think.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:18 am
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LOL I am in the same boat, not pregnant yet, but I’m 20 and look 16-17.. But I say, let people judge,you know who you are and you’re old enough to have a child, if they say anything, tell the biotches off!! They have no right saying things like that.
I’d have flipped that woman the bird,and said what you looking at old woman!!!!
FEEL comfortable in your skin,and enjoy this pregnancy!
October 12th, 2009 at 3:01 am
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I know what you mean. Being pregnant at 24 is perfectly acceptable and normal and you shouldn’t have to be in a situation where you are being judged for something that you are not doing wrong.
I would suggest that you talk about this with somebody close to you, maybe your husband or family members. Try to joke and laugh about it and maybe the next time you are faced with a similar situation it will seem a lot more trivial.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:20 am
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ehh as long as you love your partner and you wanted the child your carrying then forget about everyone else they don’t pay your bills!!
October 15th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
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I’m so sorry you have to go through that. Pregnancy should be such a happy time. I know what you mean though. I look young as well and I had the same fear when I was pregnant. My suggestion would be that next time you see someone do that you should walk up to them and ask them if they have something they would like to say. It’ll catch them off guard as they are thinking they are passing judgement and showing their disprovement without repercussion. Then explain to her that although you look young you are not and maybe she should be more careful about judging others in the future. It’ll definitely make people think twice next time, and make you feel better.